​Maxwell Leadership Podcast: Steve Harvey: Elevate Your Communication

Mark Cole:       Hey podcast family, Mark Cole here. And today I am super excited. Now you know me, I'm excited every day. I get to hang out with John Maxwell, but today not only is it John Maxwell and I, but we're joined by Steve Harvey.

It's been said often that Steve Harvey is the hardest working man in entertainment, and I'm sitting to his left and to my left is the hardest working man in motivation. So I feel like I'm not doing anything yet sitting between these guys. You know Steve from his numerous works, Family Feud.

In fact, I got to tell you, Macy got to spend time with John yesterday. My 13 year old daughter thinks that I have made it. I'm sitting between John Maxwell and Steve Harvey, because you're in my home more than I am and that's another conversation we need to have. He also does the talk show on Facebook Watch, number one morning radio show, New York Times bestseller book and movie, Act like a lady. Think like a man.

You may know him as his motivational speaking or his platform Vault Empowers. I'm going to tell you about that in just a minute. Steve's a businessman, he's a philanthropist, he's a dynamic communicator, and today we're ecstatic because he is a podcast participant on the John Maxwell Leadership Podcast.

Now, John, the reason we have Steve today is because for all day long, back to the hardest working man I know, all day long they have been putting together a digital product that is going to change your life. Now that's not the point of today, but be ready, because we're going to talk about that at another time, it's called Elevate Your Communication.

You're going to love it, but best of all, you're going to enjoy Steve Harvey, because he is going to be on stage with John at our Live2Lead simulcasts October the ninth. Speaking of Live2Lead, John, you're not only going to have Steve, but you're going to have Alan Mulally, CEO of Ford Motor Company. You going to have Kat Cole, you guys are going to love Kat. You're going to have podcaster and teacher Craig Groeschel.

It's going to be a day that will change your life. In fact, if you would like to join and be a part of our virtual event, go to johnmaxwell.com/virtual. They spelled virtual for me, because I need the spelling, V-I-R-T-U-A-L-, johnmaxwell.com/virtual. And you will be able to secure your ticket.

Now, you know the drill. If you want to take full advantage of this podcast, go to maxwellpodcast.com/Live2Lead, click on the bonus resource button, and you'll be able to download today's show notes. That's maxwellpodcast.com/Live, the number two, Lead to register for the event, and you will be forever changed. Now, John, we're sitting here with Steve today and it's been an incredible day, hasn't it?

John Maxwell:  It's been an incredible day. Thanks, Steve. You just hit home run after home run today. Thanks so much. You helped us a lot.

Steve Harvey:   Thank you, man. Thanks for having me.

Mark Cole:       One of the things that I love is what you're doing with Vault Empowers. Now, if you have not heard what Steve Harvey is doing as the next assignment to his purpose and his mission, you need to go to vaultempowers.com. John's going to join. In fact, I just witnessed the coolest thing. They're sitting here talking about it. John pulls out his money. He didn't have enough money. So he had to bum some off of me, but then he wanted to register. You wanted to register for it?

John Maxwell:  Yeah, I did. And I have good news for you. You and I have registered for his conference.

Mark Cole:       Thanks to your generosity.

John Maxwell:  Yes. I always liked to have Mark post for a lot of reasons. One is he has a lot of money. And so when I need money, it's just like I have my mobile bank right here. He just kind of helps me out, but I'm excited because I'm going to be able to speak at his conference. And I did register for his conference. Tell them how they can know about it.

Mark Cole:       So you can hear more about Vault Empowers 365. It's an incredible continuity program. You're familiar with continuity with John. You need to go be a part of this. John Maxwell is a part of it. You need to follow suit. Secondly, John's going to be speaking next March. Let's pray for an event. No more cancellations to COVID, okay?

Steve Harvey:   Well, we don't know what's happening with this COVID thing. We're going to pull it off one way or the other.

Mark Cole:       John's speaking at that, you can find out more information again at vaultempowers.com. Now John, Steve, so thankful that you're on the podcast with me. These are people, millions of people, John, that have signed up and said impact us every Wednesday.

John Maxwell:  Yeah, it's a real honor.

Mark Cole:       And today we're going to do that. But I'd love for you guys just to talk for a minute. Why are we in this studio? What have we been doing today? What's your takeaway, John, and then I'd love Steve, your takeaway as well?

John Maxwell:  Well, we've been in the studio today talking about communication and if you're going to improve yourself, you want to get to the best person that you know, in the field that you're wanting to improve yourself, to really gain the knowledge and learn from their experiences to get better.

And so when we were going to do a digital product on communication, I wanted Steve. He's the best connector communicator I know. I've often said you watch Steve on Family Feud, you could put the TV button on mute and he still connects with you. I mean his visual connection, his ability, and so I wanted to give the very best.

So we asked Steve and you have been such a great friend said, "Yeah, I'll come along and help you." And so we put together a terrific, practical, personal type of teaching on how to really be the best communicator you possibly can be, and we've had a blast. And we've been at it all day.

Steve Harvey:   Yeah, we have.

John Maxwell:  And again, thanks Steve.

Steve Harvey:   No, thank you. I mean, look man, to be honest with you 100%, I mean, for me it's such an experience and an honor. Look, I know who I am. I know what I do. I know in the business of comedy, I know what I've accomplished. Got that. But when you talk about in the life-changing motivational field, that arena right there, I mean, John Maxwell, if he was in comedy, he'd be one of the Kings, right?

But he is one of the Kings of motivation. I'm the King of comedy, K-O-M, King of motivation, right? And so for me to be here and it's been an honor, a learning experience for me, it's been humbling, and I've actually picked up so many tips myself. I'm pretty decent at communicating, but it's always good when you can run up into somebody who's been at it a little bit longer than you, got a little bit more experienced than you.

And it's just been a great experience. I think the combination of the two styles, I think people are really going to get a lot out of this. We have a very unique way of putting it. I think the chemistry between the two of us will probably going to surprise a lot of people. I just foresee a lot of things coming from the two of us together.

Mark Cole:       My favorite... Go ahead.

John Maxwell:  No, no, I agree.

Mark Cole:       My favorite moment of the day for all of you podcast listeners, you've heard John say it a dozen times if not more, everything worthwhile is uphill all the way. Steve taught John a new way to say that today. It's called 's mo' uphill. How did I do? 's mo' uphill

Steve Harvey:   It's mo'. It's mo'.

Mark Cole:       's mo'.

Steve Harvey:   's mo' 's mo' uphill.

John Maxwell:  S, put the S.

Steve Harvey:   's mo'.

John Maxwell:  See, he hasn't quite got it. Like 's mo', 's mo' uphill.

Steve Harvey:   's mo' uphill. Like I don't care, when you get tired of pulling your wagon up the hill, I got news for you. When you get up tomorrow, 's mo' uphill. Just 's mo'. Ain't no need to look, it don't flatten out. It's just 's mo' uphill. It don't go down. Just 's mo' uphill.

John Maxwell:  We had so much fun today. It was a blast.

Mark Cole:       We did.

John Maxwell:  And I'm so excited, because we're going to provide a communication digital product that is just going to help you so much. That's very exciting.

Mark Cole:       I'd love to spend just a little bit of time with you guys. We won't spend long, but you two are one of the funniest and most informative pairs that I've ever been around. I've just truly enjoyed today. I've been privileged to hear you. How did you guys meet and what made you decide to join up and do something significant to develop leaders?

John Maxwell:  Well, we met at an event just about a year ago. It was a big event in Tampa. If I'm not mistaken, about 40,000 people. Steve was on the program. I was on the program. What I was really excited about was I was going to get to meet you, because I've always admired you and what you do and who you are. And so when we met in like a trailer, was it?

Steve Harvey:   Yeah.

John Maxwell:  Off the side of the Tampa baseball field. I mean, it was just like we've known each other forever. I mean, we just started talking and we just were connecting so well. And before I know it, you and I were talking about, let's go do something together. And I walked away that day and I said, "I just love this man. I love who he is. I love what he's trying to do."

And so we kind of purposed ourselves to say, "Okay, let's put our skills together in a partnership and see if we could help some people." And let me say this, that was our first day of meeting. Today, everything I thought that first day was affirmed in my life. It was just like, yes, it all came true.

Steve Harvey:   You know, man, you meet a guy, it's hard in this business sometimes when you meet somebody, because you've got to try to figure the angle out. There's always an angle. But I went, "Okay, he doesn't need anything from me. He didn't ask anything of me. I didn't ask anything of him. We just agreed, 'Hey man, the two of us need to do something together.'" It was just a mutual agreement.

And then our teams got together and talked it out. We both happened to have really, really phenomenal people around us, and they put it together. It was just one of those things. I think the chemistry... I don't know if it was surprising for you, John, but it was so easy to do, to do all of these hours of content.

It was so easy to do. I've been on set with some people before and it's been a grind. It's just been a real ugly grind. It gets ugly. After hour number two, it's ugly. Three hours in and you don't care for the person anymore. And then hour five, it turns into a form of hatred and it just starts to dive in after that. And then hour six you're having suicidal thoughts. And then by the seventh hour, you're actually thinking of what the charges could be.

Because murder one and manslaughter, there's a slight difference, and you're just trying to work it out in your head. How much time... do I have my affairs in order? Do I have enough for my wife? And none of that happened. None of that happened. It was just a good feeling all the way. I hated to run you through how it feels, but we had a great time the entire time. It was just, the chemistry was amazing.

John Maxwell:  Yes, it was. Loved every moment of it.

Mark Cole:       Yeah. Steve you've honed your gift in comedy clubs. John, you honed your gift in churches. So what are some of the similarities, and what are some of the differences in those two audiences?

Steve Harvey:   I toured with Kirk Franklin one time. He was a good friend of mine. And I told Kirk Franklin, I said, "Well Kirk, let me go out there and get mine out the way and then you go up." He said, "Are you kidding me?" He said, "You're a 10 times bigger star than me." He said, "I'm going to open, and then you go up."

And I said, "No, Kirk, you don't understand. I don't want to close out the show." I said, "Look, I might slip. I might say something." I said, "Hey man, your audience and my audience are two different people." He said, "No, no, no, stop." He said, "Your audience and my audience is the exact same people, they just wear two different masks."

Mark Cole:       Oh, wow.

Steve Harvey:   On Sundays they have a mask, and on Saturday night they have a mask. He said, "Man, just go out there and be you." But I knew from performing at Bishop Jakes MegaFest and then being raised in the church, I'm not a disrespectful guy. I'm going to watch myself and be on my P's and Q's, but it was one of the best tours I've ever been on, because those people, they had a great sense of humor.

And we just had a wonderful time together. And I just think that audience, at the end of the day, are people. And like we talked about the entire day, you just got to find that commonality, that common denominators that puts everybody together.

John Maxwell:  Yes. My dad gave me a great advice. He said, Mark, when I started off my ministry career, he said, "John, if you'll do three things, you'll be very successful." In fact he said, "If you'll do these three things in your speaking, in your relationships, just do these three things." And he said, "You'll always have a crowd to hear you." And then he said, "Value people, believe in people, unconditionally love people."

And I have tried to do that in every area. I live in the faith world, but I also live in very much of the secular world with corporate organizations, et cetera. And can I tell you something? He's exactly right. You're exactly right. Same audience. Just value them, believe in them, unconditionally love them, because that's what they're all looking for.

And when you do it with purpose of adding value to people, and again, when your motives are right, again, leaders have to be careful, because if we know more than others do, if we see more than others do and we see before others do, that gives us an edge. We can take advantage of that if we're not careful. And there's a fine line between manipulating people and motivating people.

And motivating people is to move them for mutual advantage, manipulating people is to move them for personal advantage. Manipulation is always wrong. Motivation's always right. And when Steve and I talk to our crowds, comedy clubs, church, corporate world, doesn't really matter, they all want to be valued, they all want to have someone to believe in the, and they want to be unconditionally loved. And when you do it with purpose, it changes lives no matter what the venue is, it changes lives.

Steve Harvey:   But you know what I learned today? You operate in the faith world, but then you go out and you're able to operate in the secular world. I happened to be a man of immense faith. My God, if it wasn't for him, I'm not here today. I get it real clearly. But I work around secular people on a daily basis. I operate in Hollywood, and I got to tell you something, that ain't the best place to raise a family, that ain't the best place to want to live. It's just got a lot of trappings out there.

John Maxwell:  Sure does.

Steve Harvey:   The thing that makes you effective, even though you're a man of faith, you're relatable. A person can sit with you and not get beat over the head. You ever talk to a preacher? It's just scripture after scripture after scripture. "Hey man, yo, I was really just wanting to talk to you. How you doing today?"

"Well, blessed and highly favored, father God, first Corinthians 5:15." Yo man, yo. Do you ever call somebody house in the answering machine picks up and it's all the Psalms, it's Psalms one through 23? You want all of them? And I'm sitting here and I'm like, "You read all these scriptures? I just call and say, hey man, what's happening? How are you doing? "

And to meet a guy that's from the faith world, but that's relatable, it's like the biggest compliment I can pay you. It's like when you get to know Bishop T.D. Jakes, and you sit with him. Just a good dude.

John Maxwell:  Good dude. Beautiful.

Steve Harvey:   Good real guy. Lets you be you, and he meets you halfway where you are at. Now y'all don't have to go nowhere and go to the club or nothing like that, but if you ever see me in a club anyway, just call my wife. Something's happened. I've lost my mind. A person this old, 63 year old people don't belong in a club.

Something has really, really gone wrong. Call my wife and tell her I failed and something's wrong and come get me. But dealing with you today was so refreshing to operate with a man of faith, but sit here and realize we're really two men. We're two men with a very, very common goal. And that was a great takeaway for me today.

John Maxwell:  Yeah. Thanks.

Steve Harvey:   Great takeaway.

John Maxwell:  Thank you.

Mark Cole:       So Steve, and I'm going to ask both of you this question, but what are some of the benefits of using humor in communication? And then what are some drawbacks?

Steve Harvey:   I mean look at this podcast, without humor I'm dead. For me, humor is critical. It's my gift. I can go nowhere.. I don't care what TV show you give me, I'm going to attach humor to it. You cut my radio show, and it has humor in. You cut on Family Feud and it has humor in it. You cut on Little Big Shots, it's got humor in it. I don't care what I do, I put some humor in it. It's very necessary. The drawback is you got to know where that line is.

John Maxwell:  Yes, that's right.

Steve Harvey:   See, it's harder for comedians to get into motivation and keep the line straight, because the average person's line is right there. My line way, way out there somewhere. You can't even see my line. So when you're talking about, "Oh my God, Steve, you crossed the line." I'm looking like, "What? How could your line possibly be there when I got all these good jokes way down there?" They're offensive to you, because your line is too close. And that's the drawback to humor. And we talked about it, if you're not a funny person, you know?

John Maxwell:  Yeah, absolutely. Well, I find internationally, you have to know the culture. Because what's humor... One of the things I've always loved about teaching and speaking in America is I know the culture well, and so you got the humor thing down. You cross internationally sometimes, you don't really know where that line is.

And so you want to pay respect. But here's what I know, if you can get people to laugh with you, they're ready to make changes in their life. The connecting from one human person to another human person is if you can connect with humor, you've gained a friend and you've gained an audience. You've got their attention. That's what I think about humor.

Mark Cole:       Yeah. You've wrote a book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect. It's communication book, and you wanted to do this digital product, wanted the best communicator that you knew, Steve Harvey to join you. So why is communication such an important tool for leaderships or leaders, and what is leaders missing if they don't work on their communication skills?

John Maxwell:  Communication's a huge tool, because when you think about what do leaders do? They cast vision. Well, hello? That's all communication. Well, what do leaders do? They influence people. Everything rises and falls on influence. That's all communication. What do leaders do? They're constantly connecting, keeping people informed.

A leader's world is a communicator's world. If you don't communicate effectively, you're going to leave something on the table, in your life and in your business, in your company, and that's just a fact. And so I'm passionate to helping people learn how to communicate for a very simple reason. The better you communicate, the better that vision is, the better that culture becomes, the better that purpose is.

It's all in the ability for me to say it in such a way, not only that you hear it, because remember this, if you're just hearing it, you're probably not a communicator, you're a speaker. When they're receiving it and buying into it, now you're a communicator. And what do we want? People to receive the vision, buy in the vision, roll up their sleeves, become a part of the vision. That's all in communication.

To me, the core of your success is your ability to communicate very well. If you can do that, you're going to do well. Name the field, it doesn't matter, you're going to do well if you can communicate well.

Mark Cole:       Steve, I love your part of your story. I hope you'll share it on October the ninth our Live2Lead event. But I love the story that you were writing jokes before you realize you were called to communicate those jokes. And then you woke up one day and went, "Wait, I'm not just supposed to write the jokes. I'm supposed to communicate the jokes." How do you work on your communication skills?

Steve Harvey:   The best thing, and I heard John said in one of our sessions, don't attempt to teach it if you're not going to live it. That's kind of hard, you know what I mean? So the best way I do is, I try to make sure that I'm doing the things that I'm trying to share and to teach. Have you ever watched a movie, medieval movie and they've got all little warriors on the hill and they got their spears and their shields.

This is when they had the balls attached to it with nails on it attached to a stick, you had to run across the field to beat somebody. We didn't have Scud missiles and stuff back then. You had to run across a field with a dress on and bust somebody in head to win the fight. Well, the guy that's leading, he's always in front of him, riding back and forth on a horse, giving that motivational speech.

"Men, we are going to be free. We're going downhill. This is for England." And he's riding back and forth. You can't be behind the people and holla charge.

John Maxwell:  No, you can't be.

Steve Harvey:   You've got to be up front, because if you get behind them and holler charge, people in the front may not hear you say charge. Now the people in the back, running over the people in the front, and it's a mess. You've got to be in the front. So if you say charge, even if they don't hear you, if they see your horse shoot down that hill, they know it's go time.

John Maxwell:  Yes, that's right.

Steve Harvey:   They've got to see you doing it to believe it can be done. So when you holler charge, you got to be in front on your horse. He can't be in the back. You can run over somebody, bunch of dead people, you killed 15 people, you trampled them. But if you was in the front and you said, go, everybody... now if the speech wasn't good, you going to be down the hill by yourself. They're going to beat you pretty bad. You need to turn around and get back.

John Maxwell:  Yeah, what you're saying is true. You know what? Leadership is visual. It's visual. And so you've got to be out front.

Mark Cole:       So a little fun question for both of you. So you're both known for your communication. So with the understanding you can't choose each other, so I know that would be your first answer, who is the best communicator you've heard and what did you learn from them?

Steve Harvey:   It's a tie. Two best... I can't pick John?

Mark Cole:       You can't pick John.

John Maxwell:  I can't pick Steve?

Mark Cole:       You can't, I'm sorry. That's against the rules.

John Maxwell:  Show's over. Show's over.

Mark Cole:       Here's my line right here. Y'all's line's are back. This is my line.

Steve Harvey:   I'm not trying to be hokey, or because I'm talking to a man of faith, but Joel Osteen and T.D. Jakes is to two dudes. And I'll tell you, because they give it to you. You're going to get it, you can feel it. Now Joel Osteen makes it so clean and simple. This guy makes it so simple and easy to do. It's the simplicity of what he does. But I also love though the brimstone that Bishop T.D. Jakes get, because that's what I grew up with. So those two right there are two of my favorite communicators.

John Maxwell:  Well, when you use those too, I know them both very well. And what's interesting, let me just take off on Joel and T.D. just for a second. What I think everybody needs to understand is they're drastically different. So when people think that all communicators have to do it the same way, that has nothing to do with it at all.

When Joel started communicating, I wrote him a note because I had spoken for his father and I basically said, "Joel, you really have wonderful potential. If I can help you, let me know." I'm telling you, in a few days my phone was ringing and Joel was saying, "John, can you come?" And so I had a chance to help him and mentor him and work with him. Joel has the gift of encouragement.

So when Joel communicates in his simplistic way, it's always uplifting. He doesn't know how not to lift you up. He takes you to a higher floor. It's because that's his giftedness. That's who he is. That's what makes him authentic. So when he does it, it's kind of like, "Wow, I can go higher." Now, T.D. Jakes, he's a brilliant thinker. This man, I'm telling you, he can take a subject and he can just build. He could build a book around one subject.

I mean he can take one thing, and you say, "He's telling me more about that one thing that I could ever have imagined in my life." He's creative, he's charismatic, he's bold, he's out there. And you kind of say, "Whoa, if I ever become a communicator, I want to be just like that."

But that's the way he is in life. And so I think what's important in communication, and by the way, when I studied the great communicators, I didn't study so much of what they said as much as how they visually showed themselves. And it was not so much what they said as much as visually who they were and how they wanted to connect with people.

And I found that to be... I didn't let the subject distract me, because the real communicator, the reason I connected with them was not because of their subject. It was because of their persona and who they were and what they did. Here's what I discover. When you ask anybody who their favorite communicator is, they're going to all have one thing in common.

They've never picked a favorite communicator that didn't like them. Your favorite communicator is always the person that you believe wants what's best for you. And you come away saying, "You know what, she's helping me. He's helping me They want what's best for me." And I think great communication is an attitude. I think it's a spirit, which is contagious.

Words aren't so contagious, but the spirit of the person, that's why I say in mentoring, who mentors you is as important as what they say, because it's the spirit that's contagious. And I think that's what makes great communicators.

Mark Cole:       I'm going to let both of you just have some closing comments. We wrap up a day to where you two started on a project, but you ended as partners. So we kind of started this thing and I watched two men that we all, every one of our listeners, respect, and I've watched y'all take a moment and I believe you're starting a movement together. I think there's some great things happening.

John Maxwell:  I love that.

Mark Cole:       I want to let you guys just kind of sign off today with any comments. And then I want to wrap up with a few show notes, but anything you'd like to stay just at the end?

Steve Harvey:   Having done this for the first time with John, I mean I've been inspired to do more, to go higher. I think that's what you want from a person. You want to be involved with people who make you better. Like he just said, your favorite speakers are people you think care about you, like you. I mean, this dude is so genuine. So at a place in this arena that's so high, but to be so genuine and warm and wanting you to look your best and making sure that the right light is on you, that's very different.

I'm from Hollywood, it's not how it works. Hollywood is not a team businessman. Hollywood's very I, it's controlled by different thing out there. They have two gods in Hollywood, two gods, one is money and the other one is laughter. Nothing gets in the way of them two things right there, partner. You come to Hollywood thinking you're going to change the world with documentaries and stuff.

Well, we'll let you make it, but that ain't really what we do out here. We do money and we do laughter. You look at what they do, and anything else is not even real. You look at the biggest movies that they spend money on is sci-fi and fiction and all of that right there. They don't care about how you feel about your culture and all like that. That's the world I'm from. When you come into this world that John has been in for so long, this is a different feeling, and I'm glad I got a chance to experience it today.

John Maxwell:  Thank you, friend. I leave this day, first of all and most important, with a brother, a friend, somebody that loves what I love and cares like I care. And so I come out of this day saying Steve and I, I think, helped a whole bunch of people when they get the digital product on communication.

I come out of this day saying I'm so excited that he's going to be ar L2L, because it's going to be huge. If you haven't signed up for L2L, you've got to go do that today. But I come out of this day more than that, saying to myself, I found somebody that I can connect with. I found somebody that I can serve and add value to. I found somebody that I believe in.

And when I find somebody that I believe in, I basically say, "What can I do for you? How can I help you? How can I add value to you?" So thanks Steve. Thanks. My life is enriched because you've come into my life. Thank you very much.

Steve Harvey:   Thank you. And one last thing, I found a guy that plays golf and gives great gifts.

John Maxwell:  We're not going to stop there.

Mark Cole:       Hey, to both of you, John, I never get tired of bringing you to our audience of hundreds of thousands of people. Thank you for this time today.

John Maxwell:  Thank you.

Mark Cole:       Steve, you've added so much value, not just in this podcast, but in what you're going to do with the Live2Lead. By the way, if you now know that you're missing out by not being at the Live2Lead event, you need to go to johnmaxwell.com/virtual, and you'll be able to register right now. You'll join Steve and John, there'll be several others there.

I also need to tell you that the digital product that we've been talking about all day long, that is going to be available at the back of the room at the Live2Lead conference. So be there, you'll not only get to hear Steve and John again, you'll get to take advantage of this product that is going to be released on October the ninth.

Now one final thing, because after today, I can say this with incredible confidence. You need to go to vaultempowers.com. That's an S, vaulempowers.com. You'll see the event coming up that John's going to do with Steve. You'll get to be a part of that continuity program. It will make a difference in your life. As always, thanks for joining the John Maxwell Leadership Podcast. Let's learn. Let's love. Let's lead.