4 Ways to Intentionally Win With People

For a moment, think about a goal that you have.

Don’t think in terms of plans, processes, or progress – leave numbers and metric at the door for now. See it finished and done. Picture in your mind’s eye the moment that your goal becomes a reality. 

It’s great, isn’t it? No matter what goal you have in mind, we can agree that a realized goal is great. If it weren’t great, it wouldn’t be a goal worth having.

There’s just one problem with “great,” and it’s that “great” is too big for one person to carry.

How to Build Powerfully Impactful Relationships

John Maxwell says, “One is too small a number to achieve greatness. No accomplishment of real value has ever been achieved by a human being working alone.”

Any great goal extends beyond just you, and your journey toward it will involve – and even impact – the relationships in your life. Whether by influence, insight, or good old-fashioned helping hand, others are a necessary part of your personal growth journey.

John Maxwell’s relational handbook Winning With People captures this principle in its thesis: that nearly all our successes and failures can be traced back to an influence of those around us. When we are intentional in our relationships, we create a system that supports our goals and the goals of those in our lives.

John uses these 4 memorable methods to add value to others daily.

1. CREATE MEMORIES WITH THEM.

There are many parts of life that have been allowed to become boring. So much of our time is taken up by things we wouldn’t otherwise opt to do – driving to work, waiting in line at the DMV, grocery shopping – we forget that time is a non-renewable resource, and none of it should go to waste.

Everywhere we are, we have the opportunity to turn something mundane into something memorable. And when we give others memories, we give them stories to tell – and experiences to relive every time they tell them.

Don’t wait for special things to happen; plan for them. Make them happen and immortalize a moment for someone else.

2. PRACTICE THE 30-SECOND RULE.

The 30-second rule is simply this: Within the first 30 seconds of any conversation, do or say something to encourage the person you’re talking with.

On average, we hear about 25,000 words each day, spanning 4.5 hours’ worth of conversations. If you had to estimate based on your own experience, how much of that talk would you guess is uplifting? How much would you guess is not so uplifting?

We have the power to begin to even that balance for others. And when one of the first things you say to someone speaks life into them, it leaves a lasting positive impression.

3. MINE FOR THEM GOLD IN THEM.

Mining is exhausting work. You’ve got to move mounds of dirt and rock, heaving and digging, chipping away at the earth for hours on end – all in hopes of justification. But then, finding the gold reminds us why we do it.

Everyone we meet has strengths and weaknesses – high notes and low notes – dirt and gold. The question you have to confront yourself with is, are you going to correct people, or are you going to connect with them? Which adds more value? Which is more worthwhile?

4. LEARN THEIR NAMES.

In Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People – one of the best-selling and most influential books of all time – he says, “A person’s name is the sweetest sound.” Remembering someone’s name shows them that you’ve seen them – not just for who they are to you in the moment you’ve met them, but for who they are as an individual.

Some of us dodge this by claiming that we’re “just not good with names.” But once we realize just how important this seemingly small thing is, we have no choice but to become good at it – for the sake of relational impact.

Looking for new ways to grow so you can build better relationships?

At Maxwell Leadership, our heart is personal growth and development. It is so much part of our DNA that at our twice-annual event, the International Maxwell Conference, we have an entire day dedicated to personal growth – and we’d like to invite you to join.

On March 13, 2023, join Dr. John C. Maxwell and his panel of personal growth experts at the Marriott World Center in Orlando, Florida (or remotely!) for an entire day of growth and development training. Not only will you connect with other professionals passionate about achieving their full potential, but you’ll also go home equipped with an intentional action plan to begin putting in place same-day.

You can register for Personal Growth Day here – we would love to grow with you!