The Leader’s Love Quotient: 5 Ways to Improve Your Relational Leadership

I remember my mentor, John C. Maxwell, sharing a story many years ago that left a lasting impression on me.

John was in the office foyer chatting with some staff on break, and one of the senior leaders of the organization passed them without saying hello to any of them. Everyone was shocked, and John followed him to the office and asked why he had just passed everyone without greeting. He responded that he was in a hurry to get work done. 

John responded, “You just passed your work.”

You see, as leaders, people are our main work, not projects and programs. When people feel seen and heard, it leads to greater engagement in the workplace. 

My greatest happiness and my most significant hurt have come from relationships. Everyone in our lives is subtracting, adding, dividing, or multiplying value in our lives. Investing the right way in the right relationships can make or break our lives – personally and professionally. But as business leaders, this principle is even more crucial. Love is the most powerful force on earth, and when it is channeled properly and positively in the workplace, the results are beyond your imagination.

That’s where the love quotient comes in. The love quotient is your ability to nurture healthy relationships for the profit of all. Your love quotient is your superpower that ensures you win with people regardless of their color, creed, culture or country. It’s a bridge builder any day and anywhere. I truly believe the global engagement problem in the workplace can be overcome if more leaders develop their love quotient. 

As you read this blog, I hope it will inspire you to positively influence the lives of the people you meet and lead. People are your greatest asset in your journey of life and leadership. As you put these insights into practice, may you and your team experience more incredible excitement, tremendous energy, and greater engagement. This will lead to an increase in personal and corporate productivity.

5 Ways to Empathize with Your Team Members

1. LISTEN.

Once, my wife asked me, “So, what did I say?” And I was speechless. I couldn’t tell her what she said because I wasn’t listening. Has that ever happened to you?

Listening is one of the most critical skills a leader can possess, because there’s a profound connection between active listening and genuine understanding. I like to say that listening ears are the path to an open heart. Leaders who listen attentively create an environment where team members feel valued and heard, fostering trust and openness. This practice strengthens relationships and encourages the free flow of ideas and collaboration. By truly listening, leaders can address concerns, motivate their teams, and make informed decisions that resonate with the collective vision. In essence, listening is the foundation of empathetic and effective leadership.

Who do you need to listen to today?

2. LEARN THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE.

You may have heard of the five love languages outlined by Gary Chapman, the distinct ways that people give and receive love. These also exist in the workplace. Your team members express and receive appreciation and support in unique ways, and learning the “love language” of each inner circle member is a transformative leadership practice. 

By doing so, leaders can tailor their interactions to meet the specific emotional needs of their team members, fostering a culture of mutual respect and motivation. This personalized approach enhances individual performance and strengthens the cohesion and loyalty of the entire group. Ultimately, mastering the love languages of your team cultivates a more engaged, satisfied, and high-performing inner circle.

Whose love language do you need to discover?

3. LOOK FOR THE GOOD.

I once heard the story of a man who was so unpleasant, nobody had any good thing to say about him, and there was another man in the same city who always had something good to say about everyone. When the first man passed away, no one had anything good to say about him at his funeral. When the other man stood up to speak, everyone wondered what good he could tell. He said, “At least he had white teeth.”

Looking for the good is a crucial practice for leaders who aim to inspire and uplift their teams. We all work with complicated people. What do you look for when you approach them? You can increase your love quotient by shifting your focus from flaws or frustrations to potential.

As leaders, we can uncover hidden talents and strengths by consciously looking for the good in others. This perspective empowers us to nurture growth and development, creating an environment where individuals feel recognized and motivated to contribute their best.

What strengths and potential do you see in the members of your team?

4. LET GO.

Letting go through forgiveness is a powerful yet challenging aspect of leadership. When working with our teams, we must understand that holding onto grudges and past mistakes hinders progress and poisons team dynamics. Leaders can create trust and resilience by focusing on growth, learning, and the future rather than dwelling on the past. Forgiveness allows for the resolution of conflicts, the healing of relationships, and the encouragement of a more positive and collaborative team atmosphere. Ultimately, it empowers leaders and their teams to move forward with renewed energy and a collective sense of purpose.

Who do you need to forgive today?

5. LIFT.

A cornerstone of effective leadership is looking for ways to lift your team’s burdens rather than adding to them. Emotional support has a profound impact on performance: When you touch their heart, they work better with their head and hands.

Leaders who empathize with their team members and actively seek to alleviate their stresses create a nurturing environment where individuals feel valued and understood. This emotional connection motivates team members to engage more fully with their tasks, enhancing creativity, productivity, and problem-solving abilities. By prioritizing the well-being of your team and lightening their load, you empower them to contribute their best efforts.

What little thing can you do today to lighten the workload on your team?

As a leader, you can create an environment where people come excited, energized, and engaged. Such environments are the most efficient and most productive working ecosystems. As you increase your love quotient, you can build such an atmosphere. Remember, you are the thermostat; you set the tone for your working environment.

Are you wondering how else you can empower your team to reach their fullest potential?

Everyone needs an environment that enables them to thrive to their full potential. One of those environments that has nurtured my love quotient and leadership abilities is the Maxwell Leadership Conference, held twice a year in Orlando, Florida. I travel twice a year (from Nigeria most of the time) to be in the environment. Show your people you value growth by taking your best next step toward it. Join Maxwell Leadership for Day to Grow, a full-day conference in Orlando, Florida, featuring some of today’s most sought-after experts and thought leaders, including author Malcolm Gladwell, Olympian Chaunté Lowe, and of course, John C. Maxwell. Get your tickets here today!

Odeyemi Olayiwole is a certified leadership development expert, management consultant, DISC trainer, and a trained economist. He is a fellow of the Institute of Management Consultants Nigeria and a member of the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM), USA. He has 23 years of experience building human capital in non-profit, faith, military, healthcare, media, and private and public sectors. He speaks and trains regularly for organizations nationally and internationally. He serves as the CEO of Inspired 2 Lead, a leadership training and consulting organization. Odeyemi is passionate about helping people become the best versions of themselves as they commit to a life of personal development. He is married and blessed with three daughters.

References 

1. Olayiwole Odeyemi (2021) The Leaders Love Quotient
2. Dionne Van Zyl (2024) Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: The Power of Collaborative Learning