3 Ways to Develop Your Resilience

Two years ago yesterday, my son and I were in a car accident that changed our lives. 

Another driver failed to stop at a stop sign, and in that moment, everything shifted. My son thankfully recovered from his concussion within two months, but my own recovery was far more challenging. Over the next 22 months, I wore a C-collar for six weeks, spent 16 months in concussion protocol, and underwent three surgeries in just 18 months. It was a grueling process that tested me physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Throughout this difficult time, one thing stood out: My attitude mattered. Even on the hardest days, when I was fighting just to feel “normal” again, people around me commented on my positive outlook. Friends, family, and even medical professionals described me as strong and resilient, often asking, “How do you stay so positive?”

Those words reminded me that resilience isn’t just about enduring hardships—it’s about choosing how you show up in the face of adversity. I couldn’t control the accident or the pain that followed, but I could control my perspective. For me, maintaining a positive outlook became a cornerstone of my recovery, fueling my healing and keeping my hope alive for brighter days ahead.

3 Key Steps to Growing Your Resilience

In this world, adversity is a given. How we respond to it determines whether adversity works for us or against us. But for many, pain and frustration are breakers rather than makers. So, how can we bounce back and develop resilience?

1. EMBRACE CHANGE AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH.

Resilience doesn’t happen overnight—it’s a journey. For me, that journey started in childhood as an “Army brat.” Every two years, my family moved to a new duty station, sometimes across the U.S. and sometimes around Germany. Each move meant starting over: new schools, new friends, and sometimes an entirely new culture.

At the time, I didn’t realize how much those experiences were shaping me. Each transition taught me to be flexible, make friends quickly, and find stability in uncertainty. Instead of letting the transient lifestyle discourage me, I embraced it as an opportunity to grow. Those early lessons became the foundation of my resilient spirit, helping me face future challenges with a steady yet adaptable mindset.

2. FACE SETBACKS WITH DETERMINATION.

When I started Von Ruden Coaching and Consulting in 2022, I was ready to step fully into my passion for helping others grow as leaders. But shortly after launching my business, the car accident temporarily halted my progress.

That setback could have defined me, but I refused to let it. Instead, I used the time to reflect, regroup, and strategize for my return. My recovery was far from easy—physical therapy, surgeries, and ongoing concussion protocol filled my days—but I kept moving forward. I approached each phase of healing with the same mindset I bring to my coaching clients: focus on growth, persevere through challenges, and find opportunities to rebuild stronger.

By January 2024, I relaunched my business with renewed energy and a deeper empathy for others facing adversity. That determination to keep going, even when it feels impossible, has been a hallmark of my journey. Resilience, to me, means reframing setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow. It’s not about never falling—it’s about always getting back up.

3. TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR GROWTH.

Taking ownership of my growth has been essential to my resilience. Growth doesn’t happen by chance—it requires intentional action. Whether it’s earning my MBA, becoming a Maxwell Leadership Certified Coach, or building my business, I’ve made it a priority to step out of my comfort zone and take responsibility for my progress.

For me, this means constantly learning, refining my skills, and building meaningful connections. I don’t wait for opportunities to come to me—I go after them. Even during my recovery, I looked for ways to grow and align my goals with the person I wanted to become.

Owning your growth means being honest about where you are and taking deliberate steps to move forward. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

ACTION STEPS TO BUILD RESILIENCE

Here are some steps you can take to build your resilience and take ownership of your growth:

1. Set Clear Goals: Define what success looks like for you. Whether it’s advancing your career, improving your health, or building better relationships, clarity gives you direction.

2. Invest in Lifelong Learning: Keep growing by taking courses, reading books, or listening to podcasts, or attending workshops. Commit to sharpening your skills. Consistency is the key.

3. Embrace Challenges as Opportunities: When faced with obstacles, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Use setbacks as steppingstones to grow stronger.

4. Be Proactive, Not Reactive: Don’t wait for circumstances to force change. Take initiative to improve before challenges arise.

5. Seek Accountability: Surround yourself with people who encourage and challenge you. Being part of supportive communities like the Maxwell Certified Leadership Team, Rotary, BNI, or Polka Dot Powerhouse has been invaluable for me.

6. Reflect and Realign Regularly: Check in with yourself and adjust your plans as needed. Reflection keeps you on track. During my years in Germany, I often participated in Volksmarches—community walks through beautiful countryside—so nature gave me a place to reflect and recharge.

7. Celebrate Small Wins: Growth is a journey, and every milestone matters. Take time to acknowledge your achievements along the way.

Resilience is a skill that anyone can build. It’s not about avoiding challenges, but about how you face them. With intentional actions and a positive mindset, you can transform even the toughest obstacles into opportunities for growth. For me, resilience has been the key to rebuilding my life and helping others do the same. And if I can do it, so can you.

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About the author

Michelle Von Ruden is a certified coach, dynamic speaker, and leadership expert passionate about empowering individuals and organizations to reach their full potential. With over 15 years of experience in people development and operations, she delivers practical strategies that inspire growth and drive results. As a Maxwell Leadership certified coach, speaker, and trainer, Michelle is known for engaging presentations that help leaders align their goals with their values. Her signature talks, “Becoming a Motivating, Equipping, & Empowering Leader” and “Becoming Resilient,” inspire purpose-driven leadership to elevate both personal and team performance. As the founder of Von Ruden Coaching and Consulting, LLC, Michelle combines her DISC Behavioral Analysis expertise and MBA in Leadership to provide tailored coaching and training programs. Whether speaking at events or leading corporate workshops, Michelle is dedicated to fostering resilience, motivation, and transformation.