5 Reasons Effective Leaders Make Civility a Priority

In March 2024, the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) launched a bold initiative: to inspire one million civil conversations. This initiative arose from a growing concern over rising incivility in both the workplace and everyday interactions. The stakes are high—SHRM’s research revealed that incivility is eroding trust, diminishing productivity, and contributing to an atmosphere of discord across the nation. As leaders, we must ask ourselves: Have we lost the ability to engage civilly? And what role does civility play in shaping positive leadership and communication?

Civility and incivility represent opposing approaches to communication and behavior. Civility is marked by respect, kindness, and a genuine effort to listen and understand others, creating an environment conducive to collaboration and trust. For example, a leader who actively seeks input from their team and acknowledges diverse perspectives demonstrates civility, fostering loyalty and innovation. Conversely, incivility—such as dismissive comments, interruptions, or ignoring others—breeds resentment, disengagement, and conflict, undermining relationships and goals.

This distinction impacts leadership and influence in all areas of life, not just in the workplace. A civil leader, whether managing a team, engaging in community service, or interacting within their family, earns respect and builds influence through consistent, respectful communication. Incivility, however, diminishes one’s ability to lead effectively, as others are less likely to trust or follow someone who fails to show basic respect. Research from SHRM underscores this, revealing that incivility not only harms workplace morale, but also extends into broader social dynamics, stifling collaboration and open dialogue. Whether at work, at home, or in social settings, civility enhances influence by demonstrating empathy and integrity—two cornerstones of effective leadership.

Why Civility Matters in Leadership

John Maxwell, in his book High Road Leadership, emphasizes the importance of leaders choosing the “high road,” which means treating others with respect, dignity, and kindness—even when faced with incivility. This principle is foundational to great leadership, especially in today’s climate where civil discourse seems to be fading. Incivility, whether subtle or overt, has become increasingly common, as SHRM’s findings demonstrate. Leaders who embody civility not only elevate their teams but also create environments where respect and cooperation thrive.

SHRM’s push to foster civil conversations underscores a critical issue: civility is more than mere politeness. It is a vital leadership skill and a business imperative. In this post, we’ll explore the importance of civility in communication and how leaders can reclaim this lost art.

1. CIVILITY PROMOTES UNDERSTANDING AND COLLABORATION.

In today’s polarized environment, conversations often turn into arguments, where the goal is not to understand but to “win.” Civility, however, shifts the focus from competition to collaboration.

John Maxwell advises leaders to listen more and speak less. This aligns with SHRM’s data, which shows that fostering civil conversations reduces workplace conflict and boosts productivity. Civility allows individuals to feel heard, which leads to better decision-making and innovation. When people are treated with respect, they are more open to collaboration and problem-solving.

In the workplace, uncivil behavior like interrupting, dismissing others’ ideas, or speaking disrespectfully has tangible consequences. SHRM reports that nearly two-thirds of U.S. workers have witnessed or experienced incivility at work within the past month. The absence of civil communication stifles creativity and leads to disengagement, as people feel less inclined to share ideas or offer honest feedback.

2. CIVILITY DE-ESCALATES TENSION AND PREVENTS CONFLICT.

One of the core principles of High Road Leadership is the ability to control one’s emotions and respond thoughtfully in high-stakes situations. Civility acts as a buffer, preventing conversations from escalating into confrontations. When leaders respond with civility, even when provoked, they de-escalate potentially volatile situations. 

SHRM’s civil conversations initiative highlights the need for leaders to step in as role models, using civil dialogue to resolve disagreements and maintain a harmonious workplace. By choosing civility, leaders set the tone for others to follow. This creates a ripple effect, as teams mirror the behavior of their leaders, leading to a more respectful, productive workplace. SHRM’s research emphasizes that workplaces with a strong emphasis on civility experience fewer conflicts and higher employee morale.

3. CIVILITY BUILDS TRUST AND STRENGTHENS RELATIONSHIPS.

Trust is the foundation of effective leadership. In High Road Leadership, Maxwell often discusses how leaders build trust through consistent, respectful communication. Civility, in this context, is about demonstrating that we value the person we’re engaging with, even when we disagree with their ideas.

Research from SHRM shows that incivility can erode trust rapidly, leading to disengagement and reduced productivity. Workers who rate their workplace as uncivil are three times more likely to be dissatisfied with their job and twice as likely to consider leaving.

By fostering civil conversations, leaders build trust within their teams. Employees are more likely to share ideas, take risks, and work collaboratively when they know their contributions will be respected. In contrast, a lack of civility breeds fear and defensiveness, making it harder for teams to function effectively.

4. CIVILITY INCREASES ENGAGEMENT AND REDUCES TURNOVER.

SHRM’s findings reveal a direct correlation between civility and employee retention. When workers experience incivility, they are more likely to filter their communication, hold back honest opinions, and, ultimately, disengage. Conversely, in workplaces that promote civility, employees feel valued and are more likely to stay engaged. This not only improves morale but also reduces turnover, saving organizations the costs associated with recruiting and training new employees. Civility also creates a culture where employees feel safe to express their authentic selves. According to SHRM’s 2024 Civility Index, workers in uncivil environments are less likely to share their honest thoughts or contribute meaningfully to discussions. Leaders who prioritize civil dialogue enable their teams to flourish by creating an environment of psychological safety.

5. CIVILITY ALIGNS WITH CORE LEADERSHIP VALUES.

At its heart, civility is about valuing others—a principle that aligns with John Maxwell’s leadership philosophy. Great leaders recognize the worth of every individual and strive to treat others with dignity and respect, regardless of the situation. Civility isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about handling it with grace. Maxwell teaches that leaders who take the “high road” don’t engage in personal attacks or let emotions dictate their actions. Instead, they lead by example, showing that civility is a choice, even in difficult conversations. In today’s divided world, reclaiming civility is more important than ever. Whether in business, politics, or personal relationships, civil conversations lay the groundwork for constructive dialogue, mutual understanding, and long-lasting success.

RECLAIMING CIVILITY IN LEADERSHIP

The SHRM initiative to start one million civil conversations highlights the urgent need to reintroduce civility into our workplaces and beyond. With workplace incivility becoming increasingly common, leaders must rise to the challenge of setting a higher standard. Civility isn’t just a leadership skill; it’s a moral imperative. As John Maxwell advises, leaders must always take the high road, fostering an environment where respect, understanding, and collaboration can thrive.

Choosing civility in communication isn’t just about maintaining politeness—it’s about building a foundation for trust, creativity, and engagement. SHRM’s initiative calls on all of us to be catalysts for civil dialogue, reminding us that we have the power to shape better workplaces and communities through our words and actions. When leaders prioritize civility, they create a ripple effect that positively impacts not only their teams but the broader culture as well.

As we move forward, let us take up the challenge posed by John Maxwell and SHRM: to lead with dignity, foster understanding, and choose civility in every conversation. The stakes are too high to do otherwise. After all, civility is leadership in action.

Are you leading on the high road?

We’re living in a world where disagreement reigns and people are divided. Too many leaders are serving themselves. In High Road Leadership, foremost leadership expert John C. Maxwell teaches how to make your leadership rise so that you can bring people together and inspire them to achieve good results together. Click here to pick up your copy today!

About the author

Gary Ohler is on a mission to help leaders unlock their “Do-How” – the shift in behavior that drives results – in their work and in their lives. With more than three decades of experience in corporate leadership, sales, and marketing, Gary has a knack for equipping both emerging and seasoned leaders with the skills they need to excel. He holds an MBA in Organizational Leadership and the designation as a Chartered Leadership Fellow. As a certified DISC Master Trainer and Consultant, he’s passionate about optimizing team dynamics and performance through his company, Appex Partners LLC.

As an Executive Program Leader with Maxwell Leadership, Gary is a certified speaker, trainer, and high-performance coach who thoroughly researches proven concepts and creates narratives that support the “nuts and bolts” of leadership development. Beyond his professional endeavors, Gary lives in Normal, Illinois, with his wife, Julie. He remains committed to shaping future leaders through his active role on Scouting  America’s National Committee.